The Style Invitational Week 910 Your ad there
Saturday, March 12, 2011; 7:21 PM
For a plastic surgeon: "Good to the
last droop."
The Republican Party, wishfully
thinking: "Nobody doesn't like Sarah P."
Newly Reenergized Loser
Malcolm Fleschner suggests this week's contest: Slightly alter an advertising
slogan so that someone else could use it, as in Malcolm's examples above.
"Slightly alter" means that it should be very clear what the original
is.
Winner gets the Inker, the
official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a Moonies, a fairly
sizable doll that sticks to the inside of your car window. When you squeeze a
little bulb on a tube, its pants go down so as to distract other drivers.
Hardehar. This is the official Moonies doll used on the presidential limousine
during the Clinton administration. Donated by Loser Rich Haynes.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or
yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable mentions win a lusted-after Loser magnet. First
Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their First
Ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is
Monday, March 21; results to be published April 10 (April 8 online). Put “Week
910” in the subject line of your e-mail, or it may be ignored as spam. Include
your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See more rules
at washingtonpost.com/ styleinvitational. The revised title for next week’s
results is by Mike Ostapiej; this week’s honorable-mentions subhead is by
Howard Walderman.
Report from Week 907, in which the Empress invited you to award "naming rights"
for some institution or person to some public facility or part of one. For
humor's sake - that tends to be the sake she favors - the E chose to be pretty
inclusive about what counts as such a facility.
The winner of the Inker
The Washington Redskins
Defensive Line Center for Nonviolence (Tom Panther, Springfield)
2 Winner of the can of
Instant Underpants: The Pepco first, second, third and fourth down lines at
FedEx Field (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
3 The Leslie Johnson Treasure
Chest at the Maryland Lottery headquarters (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)
4 The Jimmy Dean Breakfast
Links Senate Visitors Gallery (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, a First Offender;
Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase)
Inane only: Honorable mentions
The Tiger Woods Strayer
University (Joe Godles, Bethesda)
The Depends Skywalk over the
Grand Canyon (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)
The John Boehner Orange Bowl
(Phil Frankenfeld, Washington; Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, Pa.)
The Donald Rumsfeld Tomb of
the Known Unknown and Unknown Unknown Soldiers (Gary Crockett; Phil
Frankenfeld; Michael Reinemer, Annandale)
The Hu Jintao-Marion
Barry-Gunga Din Grant's Tomb, or, for short, the Hu-Barry-Din Grant's Tomb
(Gary Crockett)
The Werner Heisenberg
Departure-Time Board at Dulles Airport (Gary Crockett)
The Clinton-Lewinsky
Third-Base Box at Nationals Park (Trevor Kerr, Chesapeake, Va.)
The NRA Postal Museum (Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn)
The Marian Anderson Side
Entrance at DAR Constitution Hall (Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va., a First
Offender)
The Lehman Brothers Roof at
the Metrodome. (Gary Crockett)
The American
Psychiatric Association baggage carousel at Dulles (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
The Haley Barbour Front of
the Bus (Matthew Hertz, Buffalo)
The Levitra and
Valium up and down escalators in the Washington Metro. (Chris Doyle)
The Scooter Libby doormat at
the Old Executive Office Building (Kevin Dopart)
Pepco Cinema &
Drafthouse: Theater 1: "Heart of Darkness"; Theater 2: "Body
Heat" (Michael Greene, Alexandria)
The La-Z-Boy Lincoln Memorial
(Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)
The Goldman Sachs Revolving
Door at the Treasury Department (Michael Reinemer; Kevin Dopart)
The Procol Harum Mormon
Temple (Kevin Dopart)
The Art Linkletter Spelling
Bee Auditorium (Steve Shapiro, Alexandria)
The Stanley McChrystal
Emergency Exit at the White House (Mike Ostapiej, Mount Pleasant, S.C.)
The Listerine Gargoyle at
Washington National Cathedral (Kevin Dopart)
The John Edwards, Hosni
Mubarak and Eliot Spitzer Career Paths at Great Falls (G.T. Bowman, Falls
Church)
The AARP Old Executive Office
Building (Bird Waring)
The FBI's Palin Department of
Hand-Writing Analysis (Joe Godles)
The Viagra Elevator in the
Washington Monument (Arlee Green, Las Cruces, N.M.)
The Glenn Beck Chair of
Gestapolemics at the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs
(Gary Crockett)
The Pee-wee Herman Southern
Exposure at the Johnson Library (Mike Ostapiej)
The Spiro Agnew Donation Box
at the Maryland State House (Kevin Dopart)
The Timothy Geithner Tarp at
Citigroup Stadium (Gary Crockett)
And Last:
The Slim-Fast Washington Post (Beverley Sharp)
And Really Last: The Style Invitational Scoreboard at Nationals Park (Gary Crockett)
Next week: Move on back, Part 2, or Return to enders